Bombay Rulebook: Part #1

To everyone who's relatively new to Bombay and can't stop complaining about it, let me break it down for you.

• The amount of pity and time we have for you is directly proportional to the time we have in hand before our 6.57 Fast departs.

• ‘Most of the times’ we would show you the finger, just that ‘most of the times’ it's being held down by two polythene bags full of groceries and toilet cleaner
  

• We’re smart that way, so we get that 'in your city' fruits are much cheaper, the air is much cleaner, your hair is straighter and there isn’t 'so much traffic' on the road. Instead of subjecting us to this rant, why don't you do your parents a favour and move back or do yourself a favour and just 'get with it'(adapt)!

• Seriously, no one's interested! Unless it’s going to cost us our life or help us win a jackpot or ease our commute, no one’s interested

• If you’re not fast enough, you will probably get pushed around, trampled, abused or left behind. True for railway platforms and true for life

• If you're complaining about money, rearrange your life.
  If you're complaining about your job, it's probably coz you’re under qualified or there’s someone else getting your job done at a lesser pay.
  If you're not getting a job, re-graft your expectations!

• Yes women in the train cut vegetables and sing songs. So?
  Yes men letch and grope in public and it probably happens in your city too. So?

So the next time, you think about bellowing in my face, or someone else's, remember:
Bombay is the city of dreams. It is much too crowded with hopes and aspirations to accommodate ranting losers with heavy hearts. Get immune, get vaccinated and most importantly, get your act together!