Notes to the Self about Walking into Wooden Doors and Glass Windows

Dear Motor Cortex,

Get a grip!
Ok, I'll rephrase.
Watch where you’re going.
Stop walking into doors and transparent glass.
The end of your face should be brought on by a bout of acne.
More than it should by the violent crash of razor sharp shards in your small face.
Remember, even though you may not embarrass easily, people accompanying you do.
And the only reason your sister didn’t abandon you the time you walked splat onto the iStore instead of into it, is because she loves you, and you were living away from home at the time.
Much recently, even though nobody saw you walking into the huge, teak wood door at home in the dead of the night, twice in the past two weeks, doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.
So, come to terms. Stage an intervention. Get a miner's light affixed to your forehead, if you must.
But. Please. Stop.
There are far too many adulterous things that you could be using the excuse ‘I walked into a door’ for to be wasting it on reality.
So please let it stay that way.
And continue exploiting it for all the right reasons.
For the sake of your face. And everyone else’s.

With love and hope,
Yours frighteningly,
Face.